Dr. Phillips believes therapy should be held to the same standards as medicine. In other words, when you are hurting from deep emotional wounds, you don’t need to talk about what your mother said when you were six, you need to make the pain go away. So, what’s the problem? How can we make the pain stop? And how long will it take? In most cases, not long.  One of the nation’s greatest therapists and a distinguished academic, Dr. Phillip’s books lead the way to mending broken hearts and helping people find the love that heals, giving kids a great self-image, and ending teen cruelty.

It’s very likely that you have ended up on this Web site searching for a way to end the suffering you or someone close to you is experiencing right now. A torment brought on by a loss that has unfathomably altered yours or their world has occurred, and in the midst of all the tears you are instinctively reaching out and looking for answers that can help you understand.

Perhaps you think that knowing “why” will help you avoid the pain you are experiencing now, trying to figure out “what went wrong?”

Maybe you feel it is too much to hope for that all the pain you feel right now can evaporate literally with the snap of your fingers. After all the time you spent making up a life with him or her it might be too much to believe that right now you are only days away from being able to live your life free of thoughts of this person forever or for as long as you want and that you will be able to experience joy again in all areas of your life. That furthermore, all of your relationships will improve, not just your romantic relationships, but other important ones that maybe you have let drift since your involvement with him or her.

Moreover, the process of falling out of love is completely reversible and if you choose to, in the future, desire to pursue a relationship with him or her you will be capable of that. But you can learn that you can also be free to choose not to hurt anymore with thoughts of him or her plaguing you as attempt to go about your day. I encourage and invite you to read on when you are ready to take the next step in learning How To Fall Out of Love.

Depression

Most likely if you are in the midst of experiencing a recent loss, you feel depressed. Depression includes symptoms like loss of appetite, staying in bed all day, no longer caring for your appearance or no longer finding joy in activities you used to love doing. You may also find yourself entertaining thoughts of suicide. In fact, the complexity of the situation can seem to grow with every passing moment as you are tormented with thoughts of him or her that will not leave you alone. But there is hope.

Change Your Behavior, Change Your Thoughts

I understand your world is not as simple as a child’s but a child’s story may serve as an illustration of an alternative to continuing depression. Do you remember The Wizard of Oz? The Tin Woodsman had no heart, the Cowardly Lion had no courage and the Scarecrow had no brain?

After years of waiting around for a heart, courage and a brain, the three characters join Dorothy and go to meet the Wizard of Oz. When they start acting loving, brave and smart along the way, they find the heart, courage and brains they never knew they had.

We love this old, charming story because it’s true. The way to acquire a positive self-image is to do positive things. It’s much more efficient and rewarding to start doing active, assertive things than to spend your time trying to figure out why you don’t. The question is not “to be or not to be?” But the answer is “Do.”  Doing creates a positive feeling about yourself. It is the opposite of waiting to feel positive before you do something positive. Do it and the feeling will follow.

The first step is to assess the level of pain and suffering you are enduring. Click here to take the Broken Hearts assessment.

After that, you may want to try “”Thought Stopping” a powerful technique developed in therapy that is extremely successful in helping individuals stop destructive thoughts and feelings that make adapting after a loss difficult. Click here for a video and explanation of the powerful therapeutic “Thought Stopping” technique.