What does making a list that does NOT include him or her do? It helps your mind to learn something new. You weren’t born loving him or her, you learned to love him or her. You can unlearn it and one of the best ways to do that is using the powerful Thought Stopping technique I developed in therapy.
Many people find it difficult though, if not impossible to think of something happy and pleasurable that does NOT involve the ex-him or the ex-her in some way. That is why, in therapy, I often help patients write their list. If you are finding it very difficult or impossible to come up with your own list, you can e-mail me for a therapist referral in your local area if you like. One way to see if your broken heart requires some professional TLC is to take my Broken Heart Assessment. Often, behavior therapy programs take considerably less time to “complete” than traditional therapy. Behavior therapists should be held to the same level of accountability as medical doctors; if you come in feeling horrible, the goal is to get you to feel better ASAP!
Later this week I intend to reveal some specific case histories from my book “How to Fall Out of Love” (available in December) that outlines the falling out of love program. The scenarios of the patients and how they came to be broken hearted and the lists they came up with to help them stop thinking about him or her may be helpful for you in creating your own list of scenes.
One person I treated liked to think of having lunch at a special restaurant in Greve, a charming little village south of Florence, Italy. Another woman liked to think of making lots of money in the stock market and buying a yacht where she would impress an equally successful day trader and the two of them would lead insatiably adventurous lives together. Another man liked to think of vanilla ice cream.
SOOOO!!!!! What’s on YOUR list? Please share as not everyone gets the hang of this right away.